page is dedicated to the one person that really made me feel
good to be myself. The one
person that I truly loved with
all my heart. 'The one person that I'll miss the most.
miss you Grandma! Sniff*
I was told a month ago ... Oh yea Matt your grandmothers in
the hospital. Nothing serious. She'll be out in a few days.
Ok well thatís a relief. She went in because her legs were
hurting her and it was getting VERY hard for her to walk.
She wasn't getting as much blood flow to the legs as she
needed. The main veins were collapsing. She went in for a
surgery to put stints in her legs. She went through the
surgery just fine. But, things only got worse once she got
Her legs always hurt and you could get barely away from
touching her legs and she'd scream in pain. Soon thereafter
they realized the kidney isn't getting rid of the dye they
used for x-rays as fast as it should. They say the kidney is
failing. The next day her heart rate drops so. low they
thought she was having a heart attack. I can hardly bear
remembering the painful day. No one thought she was going to
make it through the evening. They moved her to ICU. She
didn't have a heart attack though. She wouldn't have survived one. Her kidney wasn't cleaning the potassium
out of her blood. Potassium controls the heart rate. Too
little speeds the heart up and too much drops the heart rate
to almost nothing. They gave her some medication which would
clear out the potassium. Once they got the heart rate up
they let us know that we had to make a decision. She either
needed to go under a surgery that she very well might not
survive since it is a very difficult surgery especially on
an older lady. Or we needed to put her on dialysis but, my
grandma didn't want that so that was out of the question.
The surgery consisted of putting a stint in the vein going
into the kidney cause that vein had collapsed as well. But
they had to enter through the arm and push it all the way
through the vein to her kidney and if the vein burst
anywhere that would have been it. The day before the surgery
my grandma was looking and feeling so well that it seemed
that she didn't belong in the hospital. She made it through
the surgery but everything was different. She was in a lot
more pain after that. 3 days later we were told the surgery
didn't work. This was the day of my party. I tried to keep
my mind off of her but I just couldn't. I still had it
though. There was nothing else the doctors could do. She was
going to die. A week of watching her get worse and worse in
the hospital was so hard.
They eventually moved her to Hospice of Holland Home, where
they pumped her full of so many pain pills that it makes her
nerves virtually useless. When she went in we didn't think
she would last much longer. She was defiantly a fighter. The
first day she was there she could barely keep her eyes open
for more than a few seconds to see who was talking to her. I
held her hand for 4 hours letting her know I was there. She
was there for just about a week before she died. The last
few days her breathing was at the point of about one breath
every 30 seconds. It took all her strength just to breath. I
know she could hear me. I saw her try to open her eyes and
partially get them open but not long enough. She was trying
hard to squeeze my hand. It is so hard watching someone you
love so dearly breath like that. Watching what seems to be a
personís last breath on every breath they take. You keep
saying come on come on take that breath. You heart starts
pounding. Her body started shaking because she knew she
needed the breath but just couldn't take it. Then all of a
sudden it goes and that kept happening for 2.5 days. The
next day we called a priest in to pray for her, almost like
she was being taken from me. That is probably the time that
I cried the hardest. She was in a coma at the time. Then
Friday the 14th at around 7 pm she passed away. It was hard.
But now I think I sleep better knowing that she is in a
better place and that I don't have to worry for her anymore.
But still I can't believe she's gone. This Thanksgiving is
going to be very hard for us.
Iíd like to thank everyone who prayed for her. Since I am
not much of a religious person I asked Kirsten to pry for
her. Thank you Kirsten for having a loving heart for
listening to my sorrows and praying for me.
Thank you Nate for bringing me to visit my Grandma on your
days off and being such a good friend.
Thank you Jared for finally being someone to force some
sense into Joe and bringing him home to see his Grand Mother
for the last time.